PeaceWiseHelp conflict coaching

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about PeaceWiseHelp conflict coaching

PeaceWiseHelp conflict coaching involves you receiving help from a person whose whole role is to help you to deal with a conflict situation in a godly way.

They will listen deeply, pray with you, explore the issues involved with you, invite you to bring God into the center of the conflict and help you plan the best way to move forward.

In every case, PeaceWiseHelp conflict coaching involves talking together with the coach, normally in person. If this isn’t possible, it can be done online by video too.

The coach will hear your story and will help you work through both the relationship issues and the material questions that need to be resolved.

The conflict coach doesn’t tell you what to do. Rather, the conflict coach will help you:

• first, tell your story
• then, examine your heart, whilst reflecting on God’s word an what it is calling you to do and;
• finally, help you make a plan for talking to the other person involved in the conflict

The conflict coach brings hope, a supportive ear and practical suggestions on what to do. The coach will typically assign you some work to do in between sessions.

Often, serious reflection on our own contribution to a conflict is a key part of the process. Significantly, this may involve confession both before God and the other person. Issues of the heart, forgiveness, trusting in God and prayerfully coming before him for help also often feature strongly.

At the same time, learning how to ‘speak the truth in love’ about the other person’s contribution with a right heart attitude and wise words is also part of the process.

Conflict coaching does not have a fixed duration. However, unlike more general counselling, it focuses specifically on helping you deal with a specific conflict situation or relationship.

Typically it might involve between two to six sessions of up to two hours at a time. This is always something that the conflict coach will discuss with you.

Photo: Sarah Wickham

what costs are involved?

FAQ’s

• who are PeaceWiseHelp coaches ?

  PeaceWiseHelp coaches come from a wide variety of denominations, walks of life and professional backgrounds – including for example, pastors, teachers, counsellors, psychologists, lawyers, geologists, pastoral care workers, doctors, mission leaders, and court support workers.

  PeaceWise will seek to appropriately match the coach to the case and situation based on the particular circumstances of the case in question and the suitability and availability of the coaches on our database.

  PeaceWise: coaches:
  • are Christian;
  • will be using the Bible and praying during the coaching process;
  • will be encouraging and challenging the person being coached to reflect on their attitudes and behaviour (and for those who consider themselves Christians – what the Bible/God has to say about the conflict).

   

• tell me more about what the process involves?

  Conflict coaching involves the coach meeting privately with one party to a conflict.
  Coaching typically spans between two to six meetings, with each meeting typically taking between one and two hours.

  Coaching is preferably completed in person with a party, but if this is not possible, arrangements can be made for coaching to be conducted online (e.g. Zoom) or by phone.

  Coaching meetings typically involve conflict coaches undertaking some or all of the following matters:

  • listening to the party’s story;
  • endeavouring to understand the party;
  • encouraging and giving hope to the party to work towards a God honouring reconciliation of the damaged relationship and a reasonable resolution of the issues;
  • equipping and preparing the party to respond in a God honouring way to the other party by recommending specific tasks/actions (e.g. reading Scripture or some other book, self-reflection, journaling, praying);
  • praying for the Holy Spirit’s guidance and empowerment of the party and
  • explaining the aim of the conflict coaching meetings and role of the conflict coach.

  The aim of PeaceWiseHelp conflict coaching is to equip and encourage a coached party to reflect on the situation with sufficient God and self-awareness to be able to decide and carry out the most loving response to the other party in the conflict situation.

  Our hope is that you will after the meetings be equipped and encouraged to graciously go to the other party/ies with which you are in conflict (with others if appropriate) seeking a God honouring reconciliation of the damaged relationship and a reasonable resolution to the issues.

  The first session will begin with hearing your story, gaining some insight into the situation you wish to work on, building mutual trust and understanding and identifying goals for the process.

  Subsequent sessions will be structured around mutually agreed areas of focus, typically including considering issues such as:

  • what will be a God-pleasing approach to this situation?
  • what has my contribution been and what do I need to do in response to this?
  • how can I go about having a productive and respectful conversation or dialogue with the other person, including addressing unhelpful or negative behaviour on their part?
  • how can you navigate towards a better relationship with the other person from here?

  Coaching will always include prayer as well as the use of God’s word at suitable points.

  You coach will have practical discussion with you around not just the what but the how to address issues and seek to make forward progress in a God-pleasing way.

• what does the person being coached have to do?

  Participation of any person in any PeaceWise assisted conflict coaching service means they agree to:

  •prioritise the scheduling and attending of meetings amidst their other commitments;
  •complete any preparatory/homework in a timely way and providing this to the coach as asked by the coach;
  •seriously self-reflect on their own contribution to the conflict;
  •pay all the relevant fees (if not agreed to be paid by an organisational stakeholder/third party); and
  •complete an evaluation on the performance of the PeaceWiseHelp conflict coach at the conclusion of the process

• how can I get trained in Christian conflict coaching?

  PeaceWise offers conflict coaching courses to enable you to develop skills in this area. Head to the PeaceWiseYou page of our website for more details.

how do I proceed if I’m interested?

• Read this page (including the FAQ’s) so you understand the PeaceWiseHelp conflict coaching process
• Send us your enquiry form (see the bottom of this page) so we can liaise with you to discuss your situation, confirm it’s a suitable case for conflict coaching, and then seek to connect you with a conflict coach
• We’ll then proceed with some forms and payment and the conflict coaching can begin.