What price for peace when all you’ve known is war?
We all strive for peace even more when we’re at war, and just because we’re in a war does not mean we want to be there. For me, peace is one of those “on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10) things.
My work carries me all over Western Australia supporting fire and emergency services workers. Having worked for PeaceWise in 2019-2020, helping to build the PeaceWiseKids content and curriculum, I see a need for Jesus’ gospel of peace every day in my secular work setting.
A recent precious interaction symbolises this starkly. I met two women after a presentation I gave and learned they were from different regions—regions that sometimes have a violent rivalry with each other. I asked them if that had been an issue for them, they looked at each other and laughed.
These two women are now in a remote part of the country, and by culture tend to be isolated. They need one another. They also love their Lord Jesus. What a thrill for me, having concluded my presentation about psychological support, peer support, critical incidents, and chaplaincy, that I had the opportunity to meet them, listen to their stories, encourage them (through being encouraged), and then to pray with them.
I learned that there is a twist for one of these women. Getting a little teary with joy and gratitude, she said, “What you shared about your struggles, it’s like that with me, but God is so good! I’m still in the depth of my struggles, but I know God will pull me through.”
Wow! I knew exactly what she meant, and I know you who are reading will also understand. And if you don’t, when a trial comes our way, it’s designed to draw us closer to God. By faith are our endeavours.
The woman who was sharing then told me that she had escaped a controlling husband. Her children are all grown up now, and they have their own lives.
Let’s call her Janice. Janice had been in a war for a couple of decades, never psychologically safe in her own marriage. As a former relationship counsellor committed to peacemaking, I know that God’s design for marriage is a coupling of one flesh—that neither is over the other. Marriage is its best when a couple can be genuinely of one mind, one heart, one spirit (allowing for our humanity that necessitates some peacemaking from time to time—okay, sometimes even daily) (see Genesis 2:24).
Janice’s good friend, let’s call her Tiffany, was listening intently, giving Janice an occasional shoulder rub as she wept and shared. I could feel God in our midst. At one point I said, “Isn’t it amazing how precious peace is when you’re at war.” Both ladies agreed.
Not everyone in a war wants to be in conflict. Many just want peace. For Janice, peace was impossible in her circumstance, so she had to leave and seek peace elsewhere. She had her children’s blessing. They were fine. So now she was making a life for herself in a foreign land where peace was possible.
There are so many intangible things God gave when I worked at PeaceWise; what I received that I needed when I worked with the team. For me, and for Janice as well, we see God moving as we look back, and we see how God has carried us, and that encourages us as we continue in our journeys. God is incredibly faithful!
I’m always reminded that our God is not a demanding God. He does not control us. And God does not bless relationships where we find ourselves controlled. Our God wants us safe and able to thrive.*
I love what Paul says in Romans 12:18,
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
This is why God’s word is life—when Janice reads these words, I imagine her encouraged because she is a peace lover. I imagine her reflecting over a 20-plus-year marriage and knowing she had done all she could. And knowing that God was with her and would always hold her both when in the marriage and after she left. That is our God, the God of peace.
*A note on the special case of abuse: If your situation is one of abuse of power or authority, such as physical or sexual abuse, we suggest you read here. You may then wish to return to the peacemaking principles page which deals with overarching principles for dealing with conflict more generally.
This devotional was written by Steve Wickham.
Steve has been facilitating conflict resolution for over 20 years, within safety and industrial relations settings initially, and subsequently as a pastor, counsellor and school chaplain, and now in the fire and emergency services industry.
Steve is a former Content and Curriculum Manager of PeaceWiseKids (2019-2020). He is married to Sarah and they have a shared calling to ministry, and are both committed peacemakers.
