Conflict is not a distraction, but an opportunity
For years, I saw conflict as a distraction. But over time I’ve realised that conflict is where the real work of discipleship happens. As we work through conflict in a biblical way, it draws us closer to Jesus, and often, it’s in those difficult moments that we find ourselves leading others to Him as well.
The strain between us
About a year ago, I had a conflict with my colleague. He was overseeing our young adult service, but one Sunday afternoon I pulled rank and made a last-minute decision to change things up. I knew he didn’t like last minute changes, but I pushed ahead, assuming he’d understand. I called him to tell him of the change, and he went with it. It was a great night, people responded, the Spirit clearly was working in people’s lives. But things didn’t sit well between me and my colleague. He wasn’t impressed.
It kept me up that night. Didn’t he trust me to know what was best for our community? Didn’t he respect my authority? Didn’t he see how the Spirit moved that night? Doesn’t he realise his control issues?
What was going on for me
The next day I spent time praying about it. This conflict between us was a distraction – can’t we just get on with the mission? But after some helpful prompting by the Spirit I turned my attention from what was going on between us to what was going on inside of me.
You see I was wrestling with my own desire to control. I was reeling from the insecurity of whether my decision was the right one – and my colleague’s opinion held more weight than it should have.
So I gave my colleague a call. We had a long chat. I apologised, and he apologised. It led us to talk about things going on inside of us. We were able to bring some of the deep insecurities in our hearts out into the light. We worked through those things together. We discipled each other through the conflict.
Conflict shows us where we need Jesus
Jesus talked about this – he referred to is as “getting the log out of your own eye”. In Matthew 7 Jesus didn’t refer to specks and logs in our eyes by accident. The eye in Jewish culture represented our deepest desires. Even in the chapter before Jesus says “the eye is the lamp to the body” (6:22). In the context he’s speaking about where we are laying up treasures, and what masters we serve.
Therefore, might Jesus be talking about the desires that are ruling our hearts? Before we jump in accusing others, we stop to consider what idols were are sacrificing to? Is the conflict showing us an area where we need to rely more on Jesus?
For me, this conflict helped realise some logs in my eyes, some idols I was harbouring. This conflict wasn’t a distraction from my discipleship, it was an opportunity for me identify an area I needed to grow my dependence on Jesus in.
This isn’t easy or natural, but I’m glad I’ve been equipped in responding to conflict in a biblical way.
What about you? Is there a conflict you’re facing today? Perhaps it’s more than a distraction—it may be an invitation to deeper discipleship, both for you and those around you.
This devotional was written by Nick van Ruth. Nick is a husband, father of two boys and Campus Pastor of Hills Baptist Aldgate, South Australia. He is a big advocate for PeaceWise because of the impact the training has had on his own life and ministry.
