Finding the power to forgive when we find it all too hard
Forgiving others when we’ve been hurt can be one of life’s greatest challenges. When someone wrongs us, especially someone close, the pain can linger, affecting our hearts, minds, and even physical health. Holding onto hurt sometimes feels easier than letting it go. Many of us have experienced this tension — on the one hand, we know forgiveness can be freeing, but on the other, we may feel justified in our anger or sadness. While we can try to wrestle through the challenge of forgiveness ourselves, the Bible offers hope that can empower us in those moments when we feel least inclined to forgive.
Psalm 32 points out understanding the depth of God’s forgiveness toward us can transform our hearts, and according to verse 7, provide us a hiding place and protect us from trouble – including the trouble that comes through harbouring unforgiveness.
But how?
(If you have the time you may like to read Psalm 32:1-7 before reading on).
“Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.”
– Psalm 32:1
David begins Psalm 32 by describing the joy of those who know they are forgiven by God for their sin. He says they are “blessed,” for with forgiveness comes restored relationship and freedom. This is true in our relationship with God but is also true in our relationships with those around us.
The gift of forgiveness from God
David knew what it was to carry the burden of sin. Psalm 32:3-4 describes how unconfessed sin “wastes away” the soul. When we carry unconfessed guilt, we can feel distant from God and others. In verses 5-6, David declares that when he confessed and brought his sin before God, God “forgave the guilt of [his] sin.”
Through Jesus’ death and resurrection, this gift of forgiveness enjoyed by David is offered to us all. The apostle Paul wrote,
“In him [Jesus] we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins.”Ephesians 1:7
Jesus bore our sins when he died on the cross so we could be set free and forgiven. He invites each of us to find this forgiveness through our own confession.
Forgiving others as we have been forgiven
When we receive God’s forgiveness, we are set free from the guilt and condemnation we would rightly desire from God. Embracing this freedom and letting its truth penetrate deep into our hearts, mind and soul can help provide the strength we need to choose to forgive those that may have hurt us even when they may not have apologised or taken responsibility for their actions.
It is why we read we are to forgive as Christ has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32). God simply asks us to apply the same grace in our relationships that he has freely shown us. Put another way, we are called to be people who are deeply forgiving of others. Our reference point is that the grace God showed us was demonstrated according to Romans 5:8 through Christ’s death for us while we were still sinners. In other words, before we said sorry.
Of course, forgiving another who has hurt us doesn’t mean relational reconciliation with that person. For this to happen the other person will need to own their part, apologise and ask for forgiveness. This is the same pattern as our needing to confess our sin to God for our relationship with God to be reconciled.
Finding strength in God’s forgiveness
Forgiving others can be hard but when we choose to forgive, we create space for reconciliation. In marriages, families, and friendships, forgiveness builds safety and trust.
The great news is we don’t need to just find our own internal personal strength to make this choice. Psalm 32 closes with an invitation to rejoice in God’s forgiveness:
“Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous”.Psalm 32:11
When we trust God’s love and choose forgiveness, we find his peace and our relationships become spaces of grace.
A prayer for forgiveness
Loving God, thank you for your boundless mercy and forgiveness. You know the hurt I am holding, and you see the pain that I feel. Lord, I ask you to help me forgive as you have forgiven me. Give me the strength to release this burden, even if I never receive an apology. Free me from resentment, and fill my heart with your peace. Help me to trust you to bring healing to my heart and to work in this relationship according to your will. Thank you for loving me and for the grace to forgive others. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
To find our move about forgiveness why not check out Tim Keller’s book, Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?
This devotional was written by Wayne Forward.
Wayne is the CEO of PeaceWise. He loves Jesus’ promise, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” He is committed to helping as many people as possible from all walks of life know and experience this promise for themselves.
